forgiving is one thing. apologising is another.

A teacher told each of her students to bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes to school. The teacher suggested to her pupils that for every person they had refused to forgive in their life's experience, they were to take a potato, and write on it the name and date, and put it in the plastic bag. The teacher then told each of her students to carry this bag with them over their shoulders and on their backs everywhere they went for one week -- keeping the bag next to them at all times even beside their beds at night and by their desk throughout the school day, basically 24-hours a day!!!
Some of her students complained that the plastic bags were too heavy to lug around.
The hassle of physically lugging these heavy plastic bags around with them made it clear to the students what their teacher was trying to convey to them about the value of friendship and forgiveness. The students realised what a weight they were carrying spiritually!
This is a great metaphor for the price we pay for keeping our pain and heavy negativity! Too often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, but it clearly is for ourselves. Of all the things we can give other people in life, forgiveness is one of those that require the most effort. This phrase seems to make the process of forgiving easier for me: "To bear a grudge against someone is like burning down your house to get rid of a rat."
Forgiveness is something we "give other people", but forgiveness, really, is a gift to ourselves. When we wreak vengeance on people whom we think have done us an injustice, we invariably end up bitter and resentful. Worse still, if our vindictiveness provokes retaliation, we might start a cycle of vengeance.
And when you bear hatred within your heart, what you're essentially doing is destroying your own state of mind and potential to be happy.Each day yields opportunities for us to let go of or hold on to grudges, although the severity of each situation may vary. Are you better off holding on to them, or letting go?

we should forgive. that's agreed. but what about apologising?
does saying sorry solves everything?
people say sorry but kept on repeating that same mistake.is that fair?
to say you're sorry is easy.
but the people you hurt might not be that easy to get over the pain you caused.
to err is human, to forgive divine - true.
yet that does not justify at all the act of saying sorry all the time and not meaning it.
meaning it means you promise to yourself to try your best not to repeat that mistake.
people do say sorry with all their heart. but only at that time do they mean it.
then they forget they ever did that mistake.
forgive and forget - yes. very much need to be done.
but in the case of the person making that mistake, it's :apologise and never ever forget.

and does being at the top makes you immune to being sorry?(note: not saying sorry)
a common idealistic notion is that leaders are always ready to accept that they too can be wrong.
yeah right. is it a cruel generalisation to say that leaders do have ego?
deep down they do believe strongly that they are right,thus, saying sorry is normal for them.
but being truly sorry?
maybe they do...maybe this is just a sweeping-cum-totally-irrelevant statement.
we can't never know what goes inside thus it is not fair to make accusals.

back to the general idea : saying sorry yet repeating the mistake.
is it enough to say that 5-lettered word and yet that is all you do.
no compensation to the person you hurt.
and come to think of it...when you say you're sorry, it does give a good image.
ready to admit own mistake, ready to accept the blame, so modest, so humble.
it gives you that innocent look. ironically.
to end, it is admitted that we should always forgive. and forget.
but to always apologise...and then forget...?
then again...perhaps that is better than not saying sorry at all.
or worse...not even admitting that you are wrong.

wallahu'alam...